Thursday, April 29, 2010

Strangers In The Night

Everyone I know is having a baby. The amount of couples Tom and I are friends or acquaintances with who have either just had a baby, are adopting a baby or are just about to have a baby is starting to scare me. We actually took a tally one night after another friend of ours announced their pregnancy and lost count around 15. That’s 15 new lives entering the world just within our social 10 degrees.

Inevitably, along with the announcements comes the question. It’s the question all newly-weds get usually from family or friends who are disconnected enough to NOT know they have too much going on to even see each other, much less discuss this ever-looming question.

“So how about you guys? Are you trying?”

And then, for a short moment in time, Tom and I exchange a glance that reflects exactly what we both are experiencing. It’s as if we had both been transported back to elementary school being forced to join some uncomfortable event our parents were putting on—kicking and screaming to get away from being forced into some stiff suit or horrible ruffled dress with matching laced socks. It usually ends in a simultaneous scream from our inner child. NO!

But we respectfully respond with some sort of “We’re happy to wait until we’re ready” line and promptly move the conversation into more comfortable territory. Puppies and kittens and ponies, puppies and kittens and ponies—all together now!

It’s not that we don’t want a family. We already have a family. A dog, cat, horse, bird and husband are more than enough “kids” for me. Besides, not that I don’t LOVE New York City, I just don’t see myself hauling a baby and stroller up and down subway stairs several times everyday. It annoys me now and I’m not even experiencing it! What would happen if it did? I might have a meltdown. I want my kid to be able to run in our yard and fall into grass—not concrete and glass. Props to those of you who do it. You are truly amazing people, it’s just not for me.

So, the topic of babies came up last night at a bar with some friends from work. I’m one of the few married ladies in the office, so the interrogation began with that. I quickly brushed away the cold chill that typically takes over my body and answered with “I’ve got a kid already...a few actually, but the horse and husband are the highest maintenance!”

And then it happened. I pulled out my phone and started to share pictures of my horse and dog. I couldn’t believe it. I was doing that thing that parents do...I basically pulled out my wallet and gave my friends a slideshow of my children! I had to stop myself and apologized to them. I had crossed over and never realized it. I was deeply disturbed by this. I had always talked of my animals as second nature if conversation began to dry up, but this happened in a bar! I am so socially out of touch that the only thing I can really carry on a good hearty discussion of is about my kids!

I’m going to take a step back here a moment. I’m a professional working in a very competitive environment. I am in my mid-twenties and living in NYC, where the possibilities for trouble and mischief are innumerable. My husband is in a rock band. What happened to me that I am reserved to only find interest in anything away from the city? All I want to do when I get out of work is to either get home as soon as humanly possible to relax quietly on the couch or go out the the barn and see Eclipse.

I just simply have no interest in NYC nightlife. I don’t need to go out and look for someone to go home with, most of my friends stay at home for work reasons and most of all, I just don’t have the money to go out drinking when I can just as well do that at home and be more comfortable at the same time. Tom shares my sentiments, but is much more adamant about the money part. The most action we see is usually at one of his shows, and that’s a dose of energy that usually lasts most of the month for me.

Another problem I face is narrowing down a single event from the hundreds of options the city offers. It’s just too much for one person to really comprehend. Where do you Go?! Anywhere could be fun or horribly disappointing, but how do you know? You just have to try it right? And if it doesn’t work out you just go somewhere else. That kind of thing doesn’t work for someone like me with a very limited window of “fun time”. I have to count my hours and minutes and schedule it all out to the very second. Variables don’t work for me.

So, for now, I think I’ll just be OK with the crazy pet lady who reserves her time to give love and be responsible for the lives dependent on her. Perhaps I should schedule out an “exploration day” a couple of times a month to just go out and let spontaneity take over for a while. Hopefully when that day comes it will be slightly raining and I won’t want to go to the barn, because that’s always my default response when the city overwhelms me.

Ok, Manhattan, let’s give it another go, you and I. We’re going to be friends whether we like it or not. You and me, me and you. The possibilities are endless! I'll pencil you in for, oh let's say...five years from now. Playing! No really, how's two weeks from now? No, I'll call you...

1 comment: