In the beginning

I faked the address on my cover letter and resume to make it look like I was already in New York City. This one guiltless little lie landed me an interview that ultimately changed my life forever.

Before I met Tom I had no desire to travel farther north than Ohio. My love of the south ran deep in my veins, but with the love of a man comes confusion and, ultimately, alternate thought patterns. He was here and I was there...and distance wasn't an option anymore. Once he entered my life, all I wanted was to be with him in New York and live out a life I pictured meaningful-as a career-driven woman and wife to a spectacular artist and musician. I was, perhaps, a little diluted.

It doesn't matter now, and looking back on my naivety it's probably best that I felt that way. Nothing can prepare someone for the kind of life change the city will demand. I understood, in a sense, and yet I still wanted it. I was ready to embrace the new me with open arms and never look back-to jump from the cliff that was my life and submit my soul to the mysterious, unpredictable sky. I wanted the danger, the lights, the steel...the adventure.

And yet, there was something back in that modest southern city I can't quite let go. He was tall, dark and gentle with eyes that pierced my heart and sent my soul bounding through fields of wonder the mind can't quite imagine. He was my horse, Iron Man, and trading him for an airplane ticket is one of the greatest regrets of my life. He was a freedom I took for granted.

I sold him the same day I left for Manhattan. I can still see the little white horse trailer fading away up the long driveway, past the far pasture and out the farm gates. I remember the exact smell of that spring day like it was the last pleasant thing I might ever recall in life. The slight morning chill still stings in the back of my throat when I think of it. It was the day I told myself to put away my toys and button my suit. I had to stand tall and know he wouldn't be the last horse in my life.

But there I was, a single figure standing in the face of that bright southern sunrise, knowing I'd soon be against the skyline of a Manhattan sunset and wishing I could run to catch him-to take him back and spit in the face of my opportunities. I hated myself for wanting them both...my horse...and the city.